Thirty Five Days
by mistdevil
Summary: [Oneshot] Slight RaitoXL. Smut free, sorry :D. After thirty five days of not being laid, Raitokun gets a little desperate… Does L catch him in his act of desperation?


**Title**: Thirty Five Days

**Author**: mistdevil

**Summary**: After thirty five days of not being laid, Raito-kun gets a little desperate…Does L catch him in his act of desperation? (I suck at summaries so just read :D).

**Warnings**: My first DN fic, okay. Language. Implied slash. Slight Raito bashing. Sexual content. Raito asking a bunch of "why" questions. And I wrote this.

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Thirty five days.

Yes, Raito Yagami had not been laid in thirty five days. In fact, he was counting the days, and the whole time, the only thought in his mind was:

"Omfg why does L have me chained to him!"

It was like a bad dream. Except this was Raito's twisted reality, and he was forced to face it with an unhealthy sense of hormones. After all, he was still a young male with certain desires even immune to his Kira abilities. Give thirty five days of Raito-kun not doing a single indecent act, and you receive a sexually frustrated Raito. Needless to say, he was not a happy little boy.

Thirty five days. That's more than a month! How could he go on living like this? Without -censored-? Has anyone ever heard of a _God _not getting what he wanted? Suicidal thoughts entered Raito's mind, but he quickly pushed them away. Kira committing suicide for lack of -censored-? Or worse yet- Kira…without a backup plan? No, that's unheard of. He happily agreed to be chained to L to prove his innocence, and now his plan was backfiring. He did not, however, agree to be up in the middle of the night, searching around porn sites.

Raito had planned this night for days. Starting from "Day Fourteen," he began to feel slightly squirmy in his pants, and looking at L made his squirmy-ness worse, for unknown reasons. Raito supposed that he was merely uncomfortable about L's suspecting presence, but every time he so much as glanced at the raven-haired man, the jammed in feeling in his pants increased, so much that Raito began to think about getting new pants. Whenever L came ten feet within Raito, it seemed like his pants shrank in size, and the discomfit feeling never did cease.

He was getting fat! Raito sniffed and vowed to never again steal L's cookies.

Now, the chains with L and Raito's screwless crisis provided that things were not going well.

Right beside Raito, L snored loudly in his sleep, dreaming of chocolate muffins and donuts. Right, just keep on dreaming, L. The last thing Raito wanted was to be harassed forever by L's taunts if he found out about his nightly activity; it was almost as bad as L finding out he was Kira.

"Why do I have to resort to this!" Raito scrunched his face and whined uncharacteristically. He managed to sneak a glance at L's peaceful, dreaming face to make sure he was still sleeping. My, he looks just like an innocent, pristine child when he's sleeping. Soft, milky white skin met Raito's eyes as he gazed at the sleeping man's physique, clearly forgetting what he was doing.

However, in the process, his eyes stayed glued on the raven-haired man, and his heart started to beat faster. His pants felt slightly too tight, and Raito made a mental note to buy new jeans the next day. While his eyes roamed around L's slumbering figure, Raito began to think that L looked more attractive than the female figures on the computer.

_No, it's definitely getting late. Is the sun almost rising? My eyes are playing tricks on me. How in the world can a man be more attractive than a woman with no clothes on? For God's sake, he has all of his clothes on! I am not a circle!_

Raito mentally thought the last phrase with great emphasize. He was not gay. No, definitely not. No, not even if his last name spelled out "Imagay" backwards, he refused to succumb to _the other side. _However, the thirty five days made a difference, and Raito Yagami was not getting aroused by the porn sites he was going to.

He needed a release, and he needed it soon. Like, right now. Raito caught his eyes slowly maneuvering over to L's sleeping figure again like L was a gigantic magnet and whipped his head away from the gigantic magnet, only to stare at the new picture of a nude woman in front of his computer screen. Raito stared at her in horror for 1.2 seconds.

"GAHH MY EYES ARE BURNING, I CAN'T DO THIS."

The only thing left to do was close his eyes, and that, he did. Only, in the darkness of his mind, Raito imagined L's body. L's smooth, womanly body. L's thumb in his mouth. L's thumb in **_his_** mouth. L's radiant, fair skin and raven black hair and deepdarkdrooping eyes that poured into his soul and begged for cake…He instantly forgot about what he was currently doing.

Thinking about L subconsciously made him excited, and looking at the handcuffs that tied them together really did not help the tightness of his pants. The handcuffs secretly made him think of bondage…It was like those "first thought that comes to mind" games. What do you think of first when you hear "L"? _Handcuffs_.

Handcuffs: _bondage_

Bondage: _L chained to the side of his bed_

L chained to the side his bed: _…_

Oh, you are so perverted, Raito.

He robotically stretched his arms out to reach L.

L suddenly stopped snoring. Raito's heart suddenly stopped.

_Shitshitshitshit. _His graphic fantasy was torn into pieces as he came back to reality and realized the monitor screen was clearly visible to all. Raito maniacally exited out of the site where people were engaging in various, interesting activities, but only in despair. Several other sites popped up. He maniacally tried to close them. But for every colorful and interesting site Raito closed, several other ones popped up in its place, and pretty soon, the computer was flashing his sin back at him. Enough of the games, he tried to shut down his computer, but the monitor became frozen as the images locked onto the whole screen.

This situation was definitely not what the deathnote owner had calculated. Time for Plan B! Except, there was no time for anything.

L stirred. Raito's eyes almost popped out of his head.

A seducing female voice popped up from one particular site and exclaimed, "Free Dvd coverage of your naughtiest dream girls!" Raito turned about as red as the Fiji apples Ryuk used to gobble down by the dozen. He wanted to be anyway but there, next to the talking computer and stirring L. Heck, he'd even settle for Misa jumping and strapping her legs around him right now.

_Please be asleep, L, please be asleep. At least, don't wait up until I close all the windows, okay? _

Raito believed that L would get the message if he directed those thoughts with all his might. Of course, L was smart enough to receive even mentally transmitted thoughts since snores once again filled the room.

Finally, after minutes of hard work in closing all the sites, Raito breathed a sigh of relief and looked at L, who was hopefully back in his dreamland, where he belonged, according to Raito Yagami when he was up in the middle of the night getting in touch with his inner self. Except that the "getting in touch" didn't work as well as he'd liked, being clearly horrified at an image of a naked woman, and instead fantasizing about L. He didn't do _anything _for the past thirty-five days, so going to virtual pleasures ultimately had to be his last resort.

Why were the gods so cruel to him? He didn't even want to think about what he was thinking about doing to L. He was tired, that was all. He needed sleep. He was not a circle. This night had provided enough heart attacks for Raito almighty, so he proceeded on to bed, cursing silently at the _thirty sixth_ day ahead the next morning.

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The next morning came too quickly, and Raito woke up to L poking him with his right index finger, and his left thumb rested between his teeth.

"Wake up, Yagami-kun. I'm hungry!"

"Then go eat! Why do you have to wake me up for that?" Raito responded, angry at L for waking him up for such a trivial matter. Did L want him to cut the carrot cake for him? After all, he was tired from staying up too late the night before. He suppressed a yawn, opened his bloody red eyes, and looked at the clock. 5am. Why does L have to eat so damn early every morning? And then a series of questions came.

Why did L have to wake him up to go fulfill himself? Why was he tired? Why did he have handcuffs on? Why were the handcuffs linked to L? Does that mean- And what did I do last night-

Oh shit. _Oh shit. _

Memories flooded back into Raito's sleepy brain, and his face turned red again. Quickly turning away because he didn't want L to see, Raito mumbled an, "Oh, right," and scrambled out of bed.

"Why are you blushing?" L blatantly stated. He hunched his back, scratched his feet, and smiled mischievously. He also looked very sexy in that pose, Raito thought.

"Aha. A morning thing, you know. I turn red if you wake me up too early, L."

"I see."

That's right. L didn't know what he did. L didn't know his thoughts about him. L didn't know anything.

"I know what you did, Raito-kun," L's sly voice boomed.

Raito stopped and almost peed in his happy banana pajamas.

"…What exactly did I do?" Raito asked, speaking slowly and carefully.

"You forgot your bunny slippers," L gave a knowing smile.

"Ah, that's right," Raito went back to put them on. "However, you should know that Misa gave them to me. I am not _that gay."_ Damn that bastard for making him almost pee in his pants. His happy banana pajamas were his favorite pair. However, even rejoicing silently at L's statement, Raito's sense of relief came too soon.

"That right. You are not 'that gay.' Because last night…I know what you also did." This time, L's amusement couldn't have been covered with ten curtains.

"Say _what?_"

"Hm…"

"…"

"But next time, you should consider installing some pop-up blockers. They're actually very helpful."

-END

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First Deathnote fic! I feel slightly accomplished… ;)

Feedback greatly appreciated:)


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